Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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