If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
You're breaking my sexual little heart
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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