Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
