That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize