I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
