i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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