do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
