On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
