he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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