They should really pass out barf bags in church
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
