Its about making memories worth repressing
now i know why i became what i already was.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
