what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
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