Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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