dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
i think i just lost a toe
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
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