weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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