he wants to bone in the snuggie
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
