yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
