How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
