I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
