Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Damn victory sex feels great
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
