Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
