I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
