i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
do herpes really smell.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
