Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
