I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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