So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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