omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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