Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
