"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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