I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Randomize
