come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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