I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
