It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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