I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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