Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
