So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Dick very happy bro
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
