Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
