do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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