Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
