you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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