this is something i pride myself on being below average for
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
