If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Randomize
