I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
