If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
