My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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