It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
