i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
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