Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
