Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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