carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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