My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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