worst night to have a conscience
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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