I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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