i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
