did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
