I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
