I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Can you bring me the toilet please
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
