And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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