I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize