i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
