Umm I'm too high to move.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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