Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
