Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
